Saturday, April 10, 2010

Maybe a dating blog?

I've sort of been inspired to blog more about my dating life. The stories are quite interesting and maybe it will help remember more. I hate it when people bring up things that I don't remember happening until they do (Hey, Emily, remember the time Boomer offered you $200 to sleep with him?) Um, yeah.

So last night I went to Teak for sushi with, well just call him Mr. Persistent. Mr. P. emailed me about 2 dozen times online before I actually responded thinking, maybe I should just give him a chance. Nest time I'm going to listen to my instincts!!! So we decide to meet there at 8. First he calls me at 6:30 saying he got bored and decided to head up there early. Ok, whatever, I still have shit to do so I'll be there at 8. Then came the annoying text messages about when I was going to get there. Um, 8. Then the phone call as I'm trying to find parking, trying to back into a spot while some asshat cab driver sits on my bumper, not letting me move, while more and more traffic shows up and all I want to do is park in my damn spot and I eventually had to give up, flip the cab driver off and move on.

I finally get there and the waitress made some comment about how I finally made it. What? I was 5 min early! It's not my fault he decided to show up so early. But whatever.

So we order sushi. All the sushi he orders is cooked. Don't get me wrong, I have a thing for shrimp tempura and crab in my sushi, but I like me some spicy tuna and masago as well. Which kind of makes me think that he doesn't like sushi as much as he lets on. Which is furthered when he barely eats any of it. And this is a big guy we're talking about here. I devoured pretty much almost all of mine. If I hadn't been eating alone I probably would have decimated it all.

Afterwards we went to Longworth's and grabbed seats at the bar to have a few drinks. I like Longworth's and live music so I was chill. Not to give a play by play of everything that happened, but here are my favorite highlights:

* When I mentioned I went to school in Evansville, he said, whoa, Evansville is a rough town! Of course, I looked at him like a crazy person and said, it absolutely is not, maybe you are thinking of Evanston. He then proceeded to tell me, no, it was Evansville, and he read about it and it certainly was a rough town. Yes, something you think you might have read that might have been about Evansville is probably more accurate than my account of living there for four years.
* He was drinking Bacardi and diet coke... and then proclaimed the only beer he drank was Bud Light lime, Corona, and Blue Moon because "it ain't beer unless it has fruit in it!" I'm pretty sure the expression is usually most often used in reverse, and I'm sorry, but Smithwick's is about 9854739564376 times better than Bud Light Lime. Hell, IMHO PBR is better than Bud Light Lime.
* He brought up fraternities and sororities. The last time I was actually IN a sorority was 10 years ago. I'm 31. I don't care. BTW he was a Sig Ep, and proclaimed no other fraternity was worth the time. My brother is a Phi Delt. My grandpa was a Phi Delt. You can like your shit, but don't downgrade my family's, especially after I mention that my family is in a different fraternity.
* He has 4 tattoos. A cross, his fraternity letters, his nickname (WTF?), and a cross. It was like he couldn't remember and had to mentally go through them all. Wouldn't you just say 2 crosses? And further, if you HAD a tattoo of a cross, why would you go get another one? Maybe if they were in memory of someone but his weren't. He just likes crosses.
* We were in a bar. Drunk people came in. He was completely annoyed by them and wanted to beat up some guy because he was wearing a polo shirt. Did he think there were going to be nuns at this place? Who did he think was going to be there? For the record, I LOVE drunk people as long as they're not crying or spilling shit on me. Like the guy at the Oakley Pub last weekend, who was randomly and loudly singing off time with the Queen songs that were playing. I wanted to put that shit on youtube.
* Then he kept touching me. Ew. Don't run your hand down my side. I was like my mom's old cat Finn, he'd do the same thing as I was doing when you tried to pet him. I now realize the cat thought we were all douchebags too.

So he asked if he was going to see me again. I lied. I said to call me. He has since been reprogrammed in my phone as "Do Not Answer". I got a text from "Do Not Answer" before 2 today that said "I can't believe we left all that sushi." I wanted to respond with "Maybe if you weren't such a douche..." but I refrained.

1 comment:

  1. YAY for a dating blog!!! He sounds C.R.A.Z.Y and just plain weird!